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I sometimes hear from wives who are extremely confused as to how their husband can be cheating, considering the circumstances of their lives. Many wives do not understand how a man could cheat YourTravelMates.com Reviews when his marital life was going extremely well and when exciting things were happening. One such example is a man who is actively trying to start a family. Many people just can not understand how a man who is clearly planning for the future could put that same future in jeopardy by cheating.
As an example, I might hear:
"it took me a very long time to accept the fact that my husband was
probably cheating on me. Because the circumstances just did not make any sense.
After trying to save enough money for a home, my husband and I were finally
able to close about six months ago. We have both been wanting to start a family
but we waited until we could bring that same baby home to a stable home. Since
that has finally happened, we have been trying to become pregnant. This has
been a very happy time for me. But after about two months of trying, I got a
phone call from a woman saying that she has been having a relationship with my
husband. YourTravelMates He denied
this. He said the woman was pursuing him, but there was no relationship. I
believed him because I didn't believe he would be trying to have a baby while
cheating. Then, my mother saw him at a restaurant with another woman. The
description sounded like the same woman who called me. Again, I confronted my
husband. He said that they are friends. At this point, I don't believe him anymore.
But I still don't understand. Why would a man who is trying to start a family
cheat?"
I know that this must be confusing.
I can try to help you make sense of it all, but I have to tell you that I'm not
a man who has cheated. I have been cheated on. I have men reach out to me and
share their thought process. I do have some theories. They may or may not
strike a chord with you but at least it may give you something to consider.
I believe that many men are more
vulnerable to cheating in times of high stress or during big life changes.
Buying a new home and starting a family both qualify as these types of events.
I am not trying to defend your husband, as obviously, cheating is deplorable
enough. And, cheating when your wife might be pregnant is especially deplorable.
But, YourTravelMates.com this is
not uncommon. And this is not the first time that I have heard of this
situation. I've actually had men tell me that although they deeply regret
cheating when having a family or trying to start one, they believe that they
may have been motivated by the stress and the pressure of being the head of a
family and he may have fallen prey to suspicions that his wife did not have as
much time for him because of the child situation.
None of this makes it right. And
only this husband knows his own motivations. But men do cheat when starting a
family, beginning a new marriage, changing jobs, and all other sorts of
"fresh starts" which you would think would make them happy and even
less likely to cheat.
I know that it likely doesn't make
much sense to you. It doesn't make sense to me. And it doesn't always make
sense to the men who cheat either. Many end up deeply regretting this and not
understanding why they would take such a silly risk when things were going so
well for them. And then there is the issue of self sabotage. Some men will tell
you that, deep down, they do not feel that they deserve to be happy and so they
do something to mess up their wonderful life. Again, it doesn't make complete
sense. But here is another example of their reasoning.
The wife didn't ask about trying to
save her marriage as she was probably just beginning to process this, so I
won't go into that here, except to say that some men in this situation can be
successfully rehabilitated. But, they have to be very committed to making it
happen. It's not an easy process but for couples who are determined to make it
work, it's possible.
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